Don’t Ask For More Than You Can Handle
Some years ago some friends and I attended a concert in New York City after the September 11 attacks. At the end of the concert, most of the attendees stood conversing in groups outside the concert hall. This was a strange occurrence for New York; typically we are always rushing to go somewhere. However, after September 11, a genuine feeling of gratitude for life was prevalent in the atmosphere. If you were living in New York at the time you will remember that the event seemed to change New Yorkers. Everyone seemed to be looking for a higher spiritual connection. The name of God was mentioned on lips that had not mentioned His name in a long time. Prayers were raised not only in houses of worship but in bars, on the streets, and in corporate offices. People seemed nicer on the streets and at the workplace. Families dedicated more time to each other. It was a collective time of reckoning. As my friends and I stood in the cold winter chill that day, a reporter and cameraman made their way in and out of the clusters of people. One of my friends noted that the reporter seemed to be querying only a certain cross-section of the people represented at the event. “Yeah, how come he’s not interviewing people like us?” I agreed. New York is perhaps one of the most diverse places on the face of the earth, thus, to us our observation made perfect sense. If he was going to be interviewing people he should be fair and interview people of all races. We stopped talking to watch the reporter. Suddenly, he pointed at our group. Before I knew it a camera and a microphone were in my face. I turned around to seek the aid of my friends, but they had all moved away to stand in a grinning huddle at a distance. I was alone. The reporter repeated his question, for the third time, I searched my brain for something articulate to say. Most of my answers were punctuated by hmm and hum. I confess that it was one of my most embarrassing moments. When the reporter finally thanked me and moved on, I silently prayed that this section of the video, with both my face and words, would be deleted and end up on the floor of the editing room. Too many times we complain to God and everyone else that we are not been treated fairly. It seems unfair that we are getting the shorter end of the stick. “God this is not fair. I am a good person, how come I can’t have the promotion, the house, the car? I see other people that do bad things and they are doing well financially. How come your blessings don’t seem to be of equal size for all?” If you are a believer and you go to church and comply with your Christian duties, you might also be tempted to ask: “But God I serve you, I tithe, I go to church, I don’t curse, I sing in the choir. I am not like those other people. Why aren’t you blessing me like you bless them?” Often times what we fail to understand is that God knows exactly what we can handle, how much we can handle, and when we can handle it. Instead of questioning God about why he has not blessed us in the way we think He should, perhaps we can try a different prayer. First of all, we need to begin looking at our situation objectively. Are things really so terrible? Look around you, there is someone who is in a worse situation. One thing is for sure, you are alive. While there is life, there is hope. God is still giving you the opportunity to achieve your dreams and goals. If you are blessed to have your loved ones alive and well you are also blessed. After September 11, it became very clear that we need to cherish every single day and moment with those we love. Many husbands and wives said good-bye to their families that morning, like every other day, but never came back home. This means that you can and should still praise God for every day that you open your eyes to see the light of day and for every opportunity that you are able to see the end of the day. In fact, you need to thank God for this very situation that you are currently in, even if it does not seem particularly blessed. I know it sounds clichéd, but you are in this situation at this point in your life for a reason. There’s some lesson that you need to learn, some hidden blessing that you need to thank God for, some goal that you need to aspire to. God knows that you can handle this situation. That is also why this situation is happening to you and not somebody else. Second, understand that a delay from God is not necessarily a denial. God knows exactly when you will be ready to handle those blessings that you are requesting. He is in control of the situation and He will grant you your request according to His great wisdom and power. Third, make sure that you are not asking God for more than you can handle. God also knows that if He grants you some of those requests you may find yourself, like I did, in some very embarrassing situation. The truth is that you may not yet be mentally ready for those blessings. Don’t look at what others are receiving and believe that you are deserving of their blessing. The reality is that we cannot handle everything but we do make ourselves believe that we can. Your blessing is unique and must fit your personality, your mental state and your particular situation. Ask God to do for you only those things that He knows you will be able to handle at this time in your life. Ask God to bless you with what He knows that you can handle, when he knows that you can handle it, and in the proportion that you can handle. Copyright Ó 2010 by Norka Blackman-RichardsNorka Blackman-Richards is an educator, a writer, a minister’s wife, and an empowerment speaker on women, education, diversity and generational issues. Norka is the chief editor of Empowerment 4 Real Women, the founder of 4 Real Women International, Inc., and the host of 4 Real Women Talk on BlogTalkRadio.com. She lectures for the City University of New York at Queens College.
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