Customary Marriage Amongst the Yorubas in Nigeria

Customary marriage amongst the Yorubas like most other ethnic groups, tribes and communities indigenous to Africa is a distinct cultural event. It is a beautiful occasion, a rite of passage into adulthood and an extended family affair. It has its distinctive features, it is recognized under the Nigerian Law, and even the law courts have judicially accepted its principles.

Essential Features of a Customary MarriageThe marriageable age for a Yoruba lady is not fixed and incidents of child marriage is not common; hence, the minimum likely age for a valid customary marriage is 16 years. Contrary to what obtains under the statutory marriage act, parents’ consent is required regardless of the ages of the would-be couple. This is because of the significance attached to marriage as a union of the man and the woman’s families, rather than just a man and a woman as defined under elementary social studies. The consent of the intending couple is also required for the validity of a Yoruba customary marriage, in order to forestall the possibility of a forced marriage. It must be noted that the Yoruba culture regards marriage between blood relations, no matter the distance as a taboo. Blood relationship voids a customary marriage, the distance prohibited is wider than under the statute, and people who got married without the knowledge of their blood relationship usually have the marriage annulled. The Yoruba culture frowns even more on marriage between people related by marriage, thus, a man cannot marry two women from the same family, and neither can a woman marry another man from the same family while her husband is alive. Nothing, however, stops a man from marrying the cousin of his brother’s wife or even his brother’s sister {except in cases of twins getting married to another set of twins, families are usually reluctant to allow this, though there is no law against it}. One of the distinguishing features of the Yoruba customary marriage is its recognition and acceptance of polygamy. A man married under the Yoruba customary marriage is allowed by custom to marry other women if he has the wherewithal for their upkeep. The idea of polygamy can be traced to the primitive age when men needed many wives and children to help on the farm and to boost their social status. Polygamy is no longer as popular as it used to be neither does it come with the definition of bigamy under the Nigerian criminal and penal code. 

The Marriage Ceremony and Customary Requirement The process of a customary marriage usually starts with the introduction of the bridegroom-to- be to the parents of the bride –to- be and vice versa. After the preliminary introduction, the bridegroom-to- be seeks from the father of the bride-to be, a date when his parents could come and meet the family for a formal marriage proposal. On the fixed date, after due consultation with the elders of his extended family, the family of the bridegroom- to -be comes for a pre marriage meeting usually referred to as the ‘introduction ceremony’ at the bride-to-be family house. This first meeting is for the purpose of acquaintance and in most cases; it could be a good time to discuss the list of customary requirements for marriage, including the bride price and fix a date for the marriage ceremony proper. The material requirement for marriage in Yoruba land varies from one community to another, but generally, it comprises of the bride price and other monetary gifts for the young men, wives and elderly women of the family, tubers of yam, kola nut, bitter kola, honey, salt, clothes for the bride, alcoholic liquor, palm oil and other farm produce. Of most importance to the validity of a customary marriage is the bride price. It is paid in Yoruba land during the ceremony. It is upheld by law courts that bride price payment is a prima facie proof of a valid customary marriage provided the bride is handed over to the husband’s family and she moves in with her husband or his family after the ceremony. Nonpayment of the bride price makes the marriage voidable at the instance of the woman; especially where it has not been paid despite an express demand by the bride’s father. The bride price is to be paid to the father of the bride to be or her guardian.

Marriage by ProxyMarriage by proxy is another unique feature of the Yoruba customary law. Where the intending couple indicates their interest in marriage to their parents, a valid customary marriage may be conducted in their absence but with their consent usually in writing to their parents. Marriage by proxy arises where either or both parties in the marriage are not available during the marriage ceremony. The beauty of this arrangement is that, Nigerian immigrants abroad can validly get married to their spouses at home, without necessarily traveling home for the ceremony. This practice has been in existence since the early part of the 19^th century when Nigerian nationals started traveling to study in British universities. It is in fact one of the advantages the Yoruba customary marriage has over statutory marriage.

Registration of MarriageThere is no effective system for customary marriage registration in Nigeria, although there are laws requiring registration within 30 days of the marriage ceremony. Non-registration attracts a penalty of N4 but does not have any effect on the validity of the marriage. Presenting still and motion pictures of the ceremony and calling witnesses of those who attended the occasion can prove the existence of a customary marriage. There is a rebuttable presumption of marriage between a man and woman cohabiting, and the onus of proof is on the person asserting otherwise.

Divorce, Maintenance and CustodyThe Yoruba customary law, frowns at divorce, going by the effect on the subsisting relationship between the families of the couple, however, the custom does not suffer two people who do not wish to continue together in marriage to be stuck in a frustrating relationship. Matters pertaining to divorce under the customary law marriage are within the primary jurisdiction of the customary court or district customary court and appeals in respect of such matters goes to the customary court of appeal. Under the Nigerian Matrimonial and Causes Act, the only ground for divorce is when the marriage has broken down irretrievably. However, under customary laws, the grounds upon which a marriage may be dissolved is usually, on proof of adultery, desertion, abuse, inability to maintain the woman in marriage, irreconcilable differences and such other grounds which in the circumstances, the members of the court consider sufficient to warrant divorce. It must be noted that divorce is granted when all attempts at settlement by families and the court have failed. Issues arising out of divorce such as maintenance and custody are decided in the best interest of the children. Usually, younger and or female children are taken under the custody of the mother while older or male children are put under the custody of the father. Where there is no objection from the other party, the father or the mother may be given custody of all the children if his or her circumstance is better suitable for them. The court also negotiates the amount to be paid monthly with the father/husband for the maintenance and education of the children. Where a valid customary marriage cannot be established or the couple had merely been cohabiting, if there are children from the relationship, the court may still order the man to pay the woman for the maintenance of the children and make such other orders as the court may deem fit. Obviously, women are not protected by the Yoruba customary marriage; she does not have right to any of the husband’s property, except those she could prove jointly belong to them. The law does not make provision for her maintenance and there is not much relief available to her if her husband decides to marry another woman. A woman is better protected under statutory marriage. In the words of Emeka Chianu, a senior law lecturer at the University of Benin, Nigeria, in his paper titled: Joint Ownership of Property in the Matrimonial Home:“The best form of marriage is the registry marriage where the couple serve a notice and sign a legal document and it is important that the wife should keep the document. This way, he reasoned, she will have a weapon to fight with if necessary to protect not only herself, but her husband and children”