Planning for Family Success in 2010

Can you believe it? The year 2010 is here and you are alive!  If someone had said to me when I was a child that I would live to see the year 2010 I would not have believed them. Back then it just seemed too far away to ever become a reality. But we made it; we are living in the last year of the first decade of the twenty-first century.  Some forecasters predict that this could be another gloomy year as the financial recession makes a slow “jobless” recovery.  Others prefer to view this year as the year of possibilities. In other words, some predict that this year will be the year where small businesses will boom as entrepreneurs begin to put their inventiveness to work by creating innovative products and services that will boost an even faster economic recovery.  Since we do not yet know which one of these forecasts is actually holds true, we must pause to put things into their proper perspectives.  Despite the forecasts, the most important focal point that we all need to remember is that material things will come and go but what really matters is family. In 2010 we need to resolve that more than worrying about providing our families with material things we need to seek every opportunity to create special memories with them. This means that we also need to re-think ways for our children and us to spend more time together. Instead of each family member spending time in seclusion behind their private computers and TV screens or on their cell phones, we need to get the family to do more things together. Instead of everyone grabbing something to eat on the street, why not plan to have more dinners together as a family? This means cooking dinner from scratch together and then sitting together at the table to enjoy it – the whole family. Instead of spending money and indulging ours and the children’s whims, why not give them a fixed allowance and sit down with them to teach them how to make a budget? We should all declare 2010 as family togetherness year. Yes, family can become a priority in 2010; never mind that initially the whole family might not be on board with this idea. If you claim it and declare it and start walking by faith in it the rest of the family will soon follow your lead. There is no better time for a family to begin a fresh start than at the beginning of a new year.  The beginning of the year is also an ideal time to set sights on new goals for the year ahead.  After all the customary holiday activities are ended it is time for the family to regroup. Families should always make use of this opportunity to strengthen their forces for the challenges ahead.  It is important for us to remember that a family is a team. The effectiveness of the team depends on its members. Just like a group of athletes or corporate managers, a family needs to come together and strategize a plan for success. A family without a plan stands the chance of running into constant conflicts. Another negative outcome of not having a family plan is the disengagement of the family members. This happens when everyone is doing their own thing and no one is accountable to anyone. Parents need to understand that it is their responsibility to not only provide for their families but to empower their families both emotionally and spiritually. When parents take the time to create a family plan for success this will say to their children that success is not optional. A plan also serves as an excellent empowerment tool to motivate the family to work together. A plan is also the family’s own GPS, it serves as a guide. Thus the family plan must include specific goals and strategies that will help everyone on the family-team achieve these goals.  To find out if you need a plan, evaluate your family’s success in 2009 by asking the following three questions: What were some of the challenges your family faced in 2009? Credit card debt, children did not do well in school, unemployment, divorce, lack of communication between family members etc. Were you able to overcome these challenges as a family? If your answer is no, then know that those same challenges will probably be with you again in 2010 unless you create a plan and work together to overcome them. What are some of the goals that you would like your family to accomplish in 2010? Getting out of debt, children doing better in school, dedicate more time to quality family time, finding a job, moving to another neighborhood etc. Your family can achieve any goal if together you decide to make a fresh start by creating a family plan.  Parenting Coach, Rob Stringer in “Family Goal Setting” suggests that:  “Successful families don’t just happen. They take time, talent and planning.”  Immigrant families will do well to have clear plan to achieve their goals. 2010 will only bring what we consciously invest into it. Here are some modified suggestions of Stringer’s Family Goal Setting Plan that the immigrant family can apply: 

1. Schedule a meeting: Parents need to agree for this plan to be successful. It is important that parents meet together first and plan their presentation for the family meeting. Of course during the meeting no TV, cell phones, electronic games will be turned on. This is a family business meeting and it should be treated as such.
2. Reflect on the past year – Have the family talk and reflect on some of the difficulties and challenges they faced in 2009. Have individual members share how the year went for them personally, in school, or at work. Parents should listen with open hearts and not criticize or scold their children for what they say.
3. Set individual goals – Have each family member come up with 3 personal goals that they would like to accomplish in 2010. Have them talk about why these goals are important to them. Also have them share how they would like the family to help them accomplish these goals.
4. Set family goals – Ask every member of the family to come up with 3 goals that as a family you can work to accomplish in 2010.  Have everyone share their goals for the family. Then together decide which goals are doable in one year.
5. Discuss strategies – This is the time to start a discussion on specific steps that the family can take to help accomplish these goals. Some steps might require the family to spend less money on non-essentials, or dedicate a couple of hours of personal time to be with the family.
6. Write a plan of action – Have the children write up the family’s goals and post it in the kitchen where everyone can see it. Whenever a family member seems to be going off course he or she can always be pointed back to the family’s plan.