Immigrant Affairs

ASK LISA-ANNE

Q. I am a high school teacher and I know that many of my students drink alcohol. I’ve spoken to them about it and they don’t seem to be concerned as long as they don’t drink and drive. I’ve even heard them say that their parents know about it. Can you alert teens and parents to the dangers of alcohol? 

Global Challenge of Fatherhood in the 21st Century….Great Thought for Our Readers

By Chinyere Ojide

One does not need documented statistics to prove that strong dual parent family system is dying off in every society as the clock ticks in this new century. The developed countries are getting so sophisticated that the definition of “family” is changing by the day and innocent children are caught up in this quagmire. The evolutionist may quarrel with the term “God’. Well, until they provide satisfactory explanation and answer all questions on the “origin of the species” we still accept the Bible’s view of the origin of man and family. Nothing has surpassed this source. So children growing up in the civilized world of the west can boast of advanced technology; better education and exposure to most life’s goodies but they cannot boast of “satisfactory, wholesome, stable, and peaceful family life”. Most youth in America would tell you this when caught committing a crime, “I mean I have to deal with my past”. Yes, his or her past is that he or she grew up with single or foster parents and without a father role model. They all have reasons to make such a comment and it is true.
On the other hand, children growing up in under developed countries of Africa, and other places where strong religious or cultural views persist still have to deal with other kinds of challenges in their environment. In many places in Africa for instance, polygamy produces more children than the average family can cater for with the result that most children grow up in abject poverty and hopelessness that can drive him or her into crime and prostitution. Most girl child prostitutes are found in countries with near zero control on paternal irresponsibility. In such places children born out of wedlock suffer most as no government aid come their way and fathers of such children licentiously take child bearing for granted. They just go about getting women pregnant and bragging about it with out settling down to any meaningful family system. In countries of Africa, we are yet to see a president or top government official apologize to his family on TV for engaging in extra marital affairs. Some have even ousted their legal wives out of official government abodes and usher in mistresses; most of them practice open adultery and polygamy, setting terrible examples for their sons. The Bible says, “Fathers are the ones that eat the unripe grapes but it is the teeth of the sons that get set on edge” (Ezekiel 18:2, 14, 17). In terms of appreciating the female gender and treatment, African men have not done so well.  A Nigerian nurse who feels hurt by a broken marriage lamented, “All through 15 years of marriage, my husband never apologized for anything wrong doing and the wrong I tolerated for a long time included cheating even with my best friends and physical abuse in front of my children in New York City  and his friends only advised me not to call the cops on my husband…the emphasis was on protecting him rather than me or the children until I mustered the courage to just get out of the marriage when I got tired of letting my children watch me cry like a baby after each argument that ends on hitting me or on throwing my pot of food into the garbage to hurt me…how many times did I make another pot of stew or soup because someone who calls himself a father had thrown the family pot of food into the garbage can to get even with me…In order to feed the children I still have to cook another pot…Now I am not happy living with my children alone but we are at peace…we the African women sometimes criticize American women for
being single but it is just that we accept the traditional lie that the marriage must stay even if it stays at a life threatening cost to mothers and children…we end up deceiving the children and producing sons who grow up to beat up their wives and show least respect to womanhood.”

I was at the New York’s Queen’s office of the ACS recently to chat with one of the members of staff.  I saw a man who hails from some where in the Middle East almost sobbing by the corner. I went to ask him why a man should cry so openly. He asked me my country and religion. Then he felt at home to speak. From our conversation one could see that the worst thing that happened to him is to live in a county where paternal irresponsibility is not accepted as a religious or cultural norm. He lamented” Do you know how many times I have come here to see my 2 children and I could not because the stupid ex wife would not bring them out with the lie that they are sick or are busy with home work and this government people allow all sorts of stupid reasons ….This country granted her child custody just for a family fight, something no one cares about in my country?...If it is in my country this fool would not stand on my face and of course I
would have had several wives far prettier, far younger.”

He was not able to take his children that day because his wife had suspected that he would run to Iran with them. In such countries, he has told you what life is for women and children.  In the name of culture, women and their children have paid so dearly same as they have in the name of crazy African traditions that find no fault with the man.  In all these places, fathers marry additional wives and bring down family financial status and ability to give each child the required protection and care. Most of the modern ones of such settings now fix themselves up with numerous girl friends that scheme on how to damage their families or replace the legitimate wives. This situation has left most homes permanently damaged all over the world.  Most homes are in tears because of the distasteful sexual irresponsibility of fathers who want to keep sampling women at the detriment of family peace and security. With such men as family heads, life can only be miserable for women and their children. “When women go crazy men go right after them,” wrote a New York Congress woman. Crazy girls are all over the place and most men are chasing after them with out giving a thought to the effects on their children.

In Africa many abandoned women are left to raise up to 6 or more children alone. The book, ‘The secret of Family Life’ states that ‘free communication, honor and respect” are the best recipes of a happy and stable home. It also explains that “adultery /cheating and lies ‘are the first holes in a doomed marriage’. Adulterous husbands chart the path to destruction of family values as they tell one lie after the other to cover up”. The  book recommends  that absolute obedience and humility should be accorded to husbands  while husbands who honor and respect marriage vows are more likely  to  get all the respect  from women than those who chase after very woman that excites them outside. Unfortunately most fathers are hurt when men chase after their growing daughters or when their married daughters come home reporting of husbands’ dishonorable behaviors, same thing their fathers did to their mothers.
A father frankly said to me, “ Look I never slept the first day my  first daughter told me she has got a boy friend and wish to get a first date with him… she was just 17 and I had to time her and was just sitting on the balcony till I saw the guy drop her off by 10 pm…I ran to the guy and whispered,  I am going to see an OBGYN tomorrow with my daughter and if I discover that you did something wrong with her  on your first date, consider your self dead…I could not sleep till I took my girl to her mother’ s doctor…I was happy to get a satisfactory response but then I knelt down every night to beg God to forgive my past and preserve my girl so that unwanted pregnancy would not put a hold on her life…As a father, as soon as your daughter grows up you actually feel worried and want to be protective and like you  just said, the best protection is to honor and respect your wife by not flirting around.  For those fathers who live clean in spite of the momentous temptations invitation from “strange women” to hurt your wife and family, be assured that you will rejoice at your old age, for God will cause your sons and daughters to attract blessings not curses or disgrace….Sure ‘the blessing of the Lord is what makes rich and does not add any pain’ exclaimed the Psalmist.  Children born in this era are to be pitied; they are getting more of cheap, cowardly and vulnerable fathers who shy or run away from real challenges of fatherhood. The world needs more responsible fathers in the 21st century.  

THE PURPOSE DRIVEN WOMAN …pursue your passion

Fear is something that can keep one so bound that one can pass through life and not be able to accomplish one’s goals. Fear has been defined as an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence of or anticipation of danger. It can also be an idea, thought or other entity that causes feelings of fear or a concern about something that threatens to bring bad news or results. (Encarta Dictionary, North America).       Psalm 46 verses 1 &2 state, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in the times of trouble, so we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea” (NLT)  This scripture came alive very powerfully for me recently as I meditated on it. The fear that grips our heart has been compared to when the natural disaster of an earthquake happens. It is not even anything that anyone can comprehend. When the nation of Haiti almost went under as a result of earthquakes recently, the whole world went into shock. The pictures that we saw on TV showed devastation everywhere. There were people buried under the rubbles for many days before they were found, others were never found. In all of these people wondered if there is a God. But the scripture above tells us that even when we see things like that happening, we are not to fear. God has the power to take us all and put us on another planet if He chooses to keep us alive. He is the one that ‘kills and makes to be alive’ (1Samuel 2:6) and tells us in Matthew chapter 10 verse 28, “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” In other words, do away with the fear of death. I have said to many people over the last few years that I am not afraid of dying, I am only afraid of not achieving my God given and personal goals. The passions that I have I want to pursue to a reasonable conclusion by the grace of the Lord. Therefore, being afraid of death will only paralyze one completely. Julius Caesar said, ‘Cowards die many times before their death, but the valiant never tastes of death but once…”        Fear was described as the devil’s policeman by a preacher that I listened to years ago. Satan’s mission is to steal, kill and destroy and one of the surest ways to destroy a person is to plant fear in his/her heart. Take the issue of career or vocation for instance; many people spend years in College moving from one course to the other because of indecision. Indecision is a sibling of fear. If one is not convinced in their mind about what exactly they want from life, they will be like a rolling stone that gathers no moss and so a journey of five years may end up taking up to thirty years or there may even be no achievements at all.       Pursue Your Passion:  To pursue anything, you have to determine if it is worth it. Think very deeply about what you want to do. Eliminate those things which you know very well that you are not good at. Concentrate on your areas of strong points. There was a time I was in a Church and I found myself involved in almost everything that was going on; teaching in the Sunday school, singing in the choir, active in every committee that was convened including being a housewife and working full time. The social calendar was also huge with weddings, baby showers, birthdays etc. I was always so tired and I found out later in my life looking back that I could have done things differently and achieved more enduring stuff. It is however never too late to take stock and make the necessary changes that will give one peace. Don’t be afraid to try something new!---to be continued.Grace Eledan can be reached on (718) 503-2580 or This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it   For prayer and intercession call 712 432 0800 Access code 330528# every 1^st and last Monday of the month.  

BREATHING DIFFICULTIES (SHORTNESS OF BREATH) Part I 

Shortness of breath (SOB) is the perception of the need for additional effort to breath. It is described in different ways by people based on how best they can explain what they feel. Some will say they have chest tightness that feels as if they have to use extra effort to force air through the lungs. Some others will feel like they have to make additional effort to achieve breaths that should naturally be effortless. Others still have to stop to catch their breath, or it is like I have done a lot of exercise when I have barely walked few blocks or climbed a few steps.  When we breathe, we take in oxygen from the air which is carried through the blood and delivered to the tissues to be used for various metabolic processes. The tissues then give up carbon dioxide which was generated from various processes to be taken away from the body.  This air exchange involves the lungs and the heart that pumps the blood which carries both the oxygenated and deoxygenated blood. Disturbances in the structure and function of either of these two organs form the basis of a lot of the causes of SOB. SOB can occur suddenly (acute SOB) or develop gradually over a period of time (chronic SOB). There are other times that people with a baseline chronic SOB develop an acute problem that makes their breathing burdensome.  A sudden onset SOB is a medical emergency; have the person taken to the hospital immediately.  Causes of Shortness of BreathThe list is so long that it cannot be exhausted in a single article.  In this article we will focus on some of the causes originating from the lungs. For a simpler understanding imagine the structure and function of the lungs. The process of breathing involves the entire respiratory system. The air gets in through the large wind pipe (trachea) which divides into either lung and then, further into small units (bronchioles) and eventually terminates in the alveoli (thin tightly packed cells). Blockage of the windpipe: Such as an object in a child, food bolus in someone choking will cause sudden SOB in someone who otherwise is very well. Damage to the Bronchi and bronchioles (Bronchitis and bronchiolitis): This can present both as acute or chronic SOB depending on the cause. If the muscles of the bronchial wall go into a spasm, or there is a lot of inflammation, it can present with acute (SOB). In asthmatics, it is spasm superimposed on inflammation that causes sudden SOB. When narrowing of the passage way occurs, there may be associated wheezing as air is forced through the narrow passage.  Air trapping in the alveoli: When air is trapped in the alveoli, it decreases effect area available for air exchange. There is a gradual increase in carbon dioxide retention in the body as oxygen availability decreases. This invariably occurs in smokers. This presents as a gradual onset SOB. The air trapping is called Emphysema. Fluid in the lungs: Whatever causes fluid retention in the lungs also reduces effective area available for gas exchange. Fluid can get into the lungs with infection, heart failure and kidney failure.  Other causes of fluid retention in the lungs are cancer, and trauma with bleeding into the lungs.Decrease blood flow to the lungs or increased pressure in blood vessels in the lung: If there is a sudden block in the blood vessels of the lung as in pulmonary embolism, it causes acute SOB. Pulmonary hypertension (when pressure in the pulmonary artery is high), it can present with SOB. Structural distortion of the lung tissue itself: Several diseases, occupational exposures, chemicals and so on can damage the lung tissue. They are a big spectrum called interstitial lung diseases, lung involvement in diseases that affect the immune system, sarcodosis, and many more. Compression of the effective lung space: When the lungs are compressed, it does not leave room for full expansion, thereby decreasing air exchange. This is how obesity can cause SOB. Take Home message Acute Shortness of breath is a medical emergency that can result in death. Seek help immediately in an hospital. Feeling that you need extra effort to breath requires further investigation as to the cause, consult your doctor. Smoking cessation goes a long way to decrease the rate at which lung function worsens, irrespective of the initial cause of the SOB. Remember that SOB can be a pointer to underlying lung or heart diseases, never dismiss SOB.Article to be continued…….Dr. Dairo can be reached at Amazing Medical Services, 110-16 Sutphin Blvd , Jamaica NY 11435 or by phone @ 718 526 7600 .